Times have been a little rough in our household lately, so reading this book right now was brilliant. It was just what I as a wife and a mum need to do. We needed a little more love in the house. A little more understanding. Transition times are tough.
This book of Gary Chapman's has been an eye opener of a book that helped me to understand the different love languages that we are all speaking in our family (there are Words of Affirmation, Gift giving and receiving, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Touch).
Words of Affirmation
For people who have this as their primary love language, the odd compliment here & there means the world to them and an insult shatters them.
This primary love language is full on undivided attention which enables a person to feel special. Distractions are hurtful.
The person who has the primary love of receiving gifts feels loved when there is thought and effort in a gift as it shows the care and love. When a gift is missed, then the person who has this as their primary love feels unloved.
Acts of Service
Think of the little things; washing the dishes, picking up the clothes, sweeping the floors. These can all be acts of love to the person whose primary love language is Acts of Service! They may be the very things that make the load of difference in a relationship.
The love language of physical touch is touchy, but not all about sex. It is about the hugs, pats, hand holding etc and for the person who needs this to feel loved, this is incredibly important.
Gary explains that we all have a primary love language and this is what we "speak" mostly, yet we probably are able to speak more than one language. It is important for us in families to learn how to speak more than our own to operate well and listen to each other.
It has helped me understand how each person's "love tank" may be running on empty and may need a refill, and how best to refill it! It has also enable me to open up a discussion about these love languages with the members of my family. Wonderful! Gary uses his vast knowledge of 30 + years as a marriage counsellor and no nonsense language to get the messages across.
The next member of my family has begun reading it (hubby) and when he finishes, we will do the very last chapter together which Gary has set out like a workshop for couples. By the end of reading the book, I was really revved up and ready to workshop it with him. I also think it would be good to read his book, The Five Love Languages of Children (even though this book does already touch on it).